Wednesday 30 January 2013
Tuesday 29 January 2013
"And so they were all dead together"
I'm doing an online course on fantasy literature. That's right, I'm actually choosing to learn.
It looks to be a very interesting course, studying classics such as Stoker's Dracula or Carroll's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. Luckily I've read most of these already, but when I was young so I'll have a new perspective now. Hopefully a good enough one to write about, but we'll see.
The first book we're looking at is Grimm's Children's and Household Tales. I'm sure you'll have heard of those, but probably the happier ones. Some of them are much darker than others. For example: Death of a Hen.
We begin with a rooster and a hen having a spot of dinner. All happy... until the hen begins to choke. So the rooster runs off to find water, which he finds in a brook. However, the brook demands something in return. It wants some silk. Now, why a brook would possibly want/need silk for is beyond me, but no-one ever claimed these stories made perfect sense. At least, not in a literal way. So, the rooster runs off to find silk, which he finds in the possession of a bride, who requests that the rooster fetch her garland. Luckily this is where the chain of fetching ends (Those of us who remember classic Legend of Zelda may think he got off easy, but just wait). Garland gets silk, silk gets water, water is taken to... a dead hen. Unsurprisingly the hen didn't have enough air to last through all that madness. Rather upset now, the rooster decides to cart the hen away to bury her and an array of woodland critters emerge to help. The only trouble is that they need to cross a river. So they devise a cunning plan to make a bridge out of a piece of straw. Predictably this fails, and a handful of the helpful critters die. After, they use a helpful stone a a new bridge, but everyone slips and drowns. All but the rooster and the cart with the hen. By now you're probably thinking "Damn, this rooster's had a pretty crappy day. On top of losing his wife and feeling responsible for her death, he's pretty much caused the death of every friendly creature in the vicinity. There's got to be some sort of turnaround now"
Nope.
It quite simply ends that once the rooster finishes burying the hen, he sits down and dies of grief. The end.
No happy ending, no moral. Everyone just dies despite most of them trying to do the right thing and help the poor rooster. Rather..... well, grim I guess.
On an infinitely happier note, there will be a new Smash Bros. game!
Nintendo have said that it will be revealed at E3 with something better than screenshots!
“Wii U and 3DS versions — I would like to show you both. Other games have had visuals shown, but you still have to wait for Smash Bros. But we’ll be able to release something better.”
Very, very excited!
It looks to be a very interesting course, studying classics such as Stoker's Dracula or Carroll's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. Luckily I've read most of these already, but when I was young so I'll have a new perspective now. Hopefully a good enough one to write about, but we'll see.
The first book we're looking at is Grimm's Children's and Household Tales. I'm sure you'll have heard of those, but probably the happier ones. Some of them are much darker than others. For example: Death of a Hen.
We begin with a rooster and a hen having a spot of dinner. All happy... until the hen begins to choke. So the rooster runs off to find water, which he finds in a brook. However, the brook demands something in return. It wants some silk. Now, why a brook would possibly want/need silk for is beyond me, but no-one ever claimed these stories made perfect sense. At least, not in a literal way. So, the rooster runs off to find silk, which he finds in the possession of a bride, who requests that the rooster fetch her garland. Luckily this is where the chain of fetching ends (Those of us who remember classic Legend of Zelda may think he got off easy, but just wait). Garland gets silk, silk gets water, water is taken to... a dead hen. Unsurprisingly the hen didn't have enough air to last through all that madness. Rather upset now, the rooster decides to cart the hen away to bury her and an array of woodland critters emerge to help. The only trouble is that they need to cross a river. So they devise a cunning plan to make a bridge out of a piece of straw. Predictably this fails, and a handful of the helpful critters die. After, they use a helpful stone a a new bridge, but everyone slips and drowns. All but the rooster and the cart with the hen. By now you're probably thinking "Damn, this rooster's had a pretty crappy day. On top of losing his wife and feeling responsible for her death, he's pretty much caused the death of every friendly creature in the vicinity. There's got to be some sort of turnaround now"
Nope.
It quite simply ends that once the rooster finishes burying the hen, he sits down and dies of grief. The end.
No happy ending, no moral. Everyone just dies despite most of them trying to do the right thing and help the poor rooster. Rather..... well, grim I guess.
On an infinitely happier note, there will be a new Smash Bros. game!
Nintendo have said that it will be revealed at E3 with something better than screenshots!
“Wii U and 3DS versions — I would like to show you both. Other games have had visuals shown, but you still have to wait for Smash Bros. But we’ll be able to release something better.”
Very, very excited!
Wednesday 23 January 2013
Gentlemen, you had my curiosity. But now you have my attention.
I have just this very evening been to see "Django Unchained", Tarantino's latest piece of glory. Set in the Deep South two years before The Civil War, it tells the tale of Django, a slave who, after helping bounty hunter Dr. King Schultz collect the bounty on three unsavouries called “The Brittle Brothers”, joins the good Doctor in the business, becoming an absolute badass in the process. He then seeks out bloody vengeance in order to save his wife, Broomhilda, from “Candyland”. A place not nearly as delicious as the name suggests…
“Django Unchained” is two hours and forty five minutes of magnificence. The script fizzles with life and energy, helped by the truly great casting of all the central characters, as well as a truly delightful supporting cast. The complaints I’ve heard thus far in regards to the heavy use of “offensive” language are proven to be completely ridiculous. Tarantino is a director of authenticity and he is not going to pussy-foot around the language and culture of the time, however horrifying it might have been. And by not patronising us he delivers an admittedly gritty but all the more real feeling depiction of the slave trade of the South. The violence is as visceral and satisfying as ever, the whole cinema joining me in gleeful repulsion at the enormous levels of blood spilled, all delivered organically and free of CGI. He also shot the entire thing on film, giving it a vintage tone adding to the period setting of the piece.
The whole thing does indeed look beautiful, from the soaring landscapes, to the visually stunning shooting scenes.
I do not wish to give away anything plot-related, as I am heavily opposed to the disgusting activity of “spoilers”. All I shall say is that the amount of glorious death related one liners in this film is astronomical! And the deaths themselves are equally satisfying, as they are dealt upon such horrifyingly disgusting human beings. Like the Nazis in Inglourious Basterds, here Tarantino has access to an enemy so repulsive, that you feel justified in relishing in their often violent deaths. AND OFTEN THEY ARE!
I will say, for any of you reading foolish enough to wonder, do not go into this expecting a nice Western. This is a bloody revenge fest, filled with some often quite sickening happenings. But if you’re expecting another glorious Tarantino masterpiece? Then aye, go ahead and enjoy!
“Django Unchained” is two hours and forty five minutes of magnificence. The script fizzles with life and energy, helped by the truly great casting of all the central characters, as well as a truly delightful supporting cast. The complaints I’ve heard thus far in regards to the heavy use of “offensive” language are proven to be completely ridiculous. Tarantino is a director of authenticity and he is not going to pussy-foot around the language and culture of the time, however horrifying it might have been. And by not patronising us he delivers an admittedly gritty but all the more real feeling depiction of the slave trade of the South. The violence is as visceral and satisfying as ever, the whole cinema joining me in gleeful repulsion at the enormous levels of blood spilled, all delivered organically and free of CGI. He also shot the entire thing on film, giving it a vintage tone adding to the period setting of the piece.
The whole thing does indeed look beautiful, from the soaring landscapes, to the visually stunning shooting scenes.
I do not wish to give away anything plot-related, as I am heavily opposed to the disgusting activity of “spoilers”. All I shall say is that the amount of glorious death related one liners in this film is astronomical! And the deaths themselves are equally satisfying, as they are dealt upon such horrifyingly disgusting human beings. Like the Nazis in Inglourious Basterds, here Tarantino has access to an enemy so repulsive, that you feel justified in relishing in their often violent deaths. AND OFTEN THEY ARE!
I will say, for any of you reading foolish enough to wonder, do not go into this expecting a nice Western. This is a bloody revenge fest, filled with some often quite sickening happenings. But if you’re expecting another glorious Tarantino masterpiece? Then aye, go ahead and enjoy!
Tuesday 22 January 2013
New Party Members!
Now, you may have noticed that my helper monkey Eddy recently wrote an article for this distinguished publication. We have, in the past, planned on several projects to entertain the world, but never had the time/inspiration/equipment to do it properly. Well now we have them all! And some help.
A third writer will be joining us, who will be introducing himself soon. Hopefully between the three of us we'll be able to make this worth reading!
Anyway, hope you all enjoy what we've got in store for you.
Thanks for reading.
A third writer will be joining us, who will be introducing himself soon. Hopefully between the three of us we'll be able to make this worth reading!
Anyway, hope you all enjoy what we've got in store for you.
Thanks for reading.
Sunday 20 January 2013
Fangasmic Fury!
I have a bad habit of not watching great television shows the first time they air. However I find this works to my advantage, as if I'd had to wait however many months there were between the end of Season 3 and the start of Season 4 of "Breaking Bad" I think I would have done some pretty nasty things. I was able to partake in the ancient tradition of tanking it all online in a matter of weeks (Cheers, Netflix!). This meant I could immediately carry on from all the dramatic cliff-hangers, avoiding the pain that everyone else must have experienced during the numerous "Breaking Bad" dry seasons. And oh my they enjoy their dramatic cliff hangers, so they do!
I find myself doing this with many television shows. Most recently I've gotten into "Supernatural", after being constantly met with shock and disgust at my having not seen it. Admittedly I've only watched the pilot so far, but it certainly seems like something special! Now I just need to find some spare time to sit down and get through all EIGHT BLOODY SEASONS!
The between-season wait that is currently destroying me is that of "Sherlock". With each series being only 3 episodes long, we only get three weeks at a time of this glorious show! And seeing as the 3rd episode of the last series aired on the 15 of January LAST YEAR we've already had to wait a long damn time for more brilliance. Coupled with the disgraceful news that filming of Series 3 will not even begin until March, it makes me one sad Panda!
I suppose life is full of traumatic moments like this, and I've always been a rather impatient little scoundrel. Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman, the stars of "Sherlock", have been busying themselves with matters of Hobbits and Dragons, so it's not as if they've left us with nothing to marvel at in the wait for Sherlock! And with two more glorious chapters to The Hobbit trilogy to go, I think I can let them off with this one! Now... if only I could catch up with Heroes...
I find myself doing this with many television shows. Most recently I've gotten into "Supernatural", after being constantly met with shock and disgust at my having not seen it. Admittedly I've only watched the pilot so far, but it certainly seems like something special! Now I just need to find some spare time to sit down and get through all EIGHT BLOODY SEASONS!
The between-season wait that is currently destroying me is that of "Sherlock". With each series being only 3 episodes long, we only get three weeks at a time of this glorious show! And seeing as the 3rd episode of the last series aired on the 15 of January LAST YEAR we've already had to wait a long damn time for more brilliance. Coupled with the disgraceful news that filming of Series 3 will not even begin until March, it makes me one sad Panda!
I suppose life is full of traumatic moments like this, and I've always been a rather impatient little scoundrel. Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman, the stars of "Sherlock", have been busying themselves with matters of Hobbits and Dragons, so it's not as if they've left us with nothing to marvel at in the wait for Sherlock! And with two more glorious chapters to The Hobbit trilogy to go, I think I can let them off with this one! Now... if only I could catch up with Heroes...
Saturday 19 January 2013
Lllllllloooooorrrrrrrrrdddddddd Oooooooofffffffff Tttttttthhhhhhheeeeeeee Rrrrrrriiiiiiiiinnnnnnggggggsssssss
Something that no-one should ever have time for is the fully extended Lord of the Rings. All three films, one sitting.
Please don't misunderstand, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with them. They are just more of a good thing, I would've been perfectly happy if the series was released as six films. What I'm saying is that if you've got enough time to sit down and watch all of them all together, you need to evaluate what you're doing with your life.
If you have enough time, I'm not judging you by any means. I'm working my way through them now, debating a run through of third age to follow up.....
Now, here's my list of how to do it properly.
1. Build a fellowship!
Everything is better with good friends. Everything. If you disagree, you need better friends.
2. The two days!
I don't particularly recommend pulling an all nighter if you need or even want to do anything the next day. I've had my fair share of working with a hangover and no sleep and I've had enough of that over my teens, no more. This is why days off exist.
3. The Return of the Pun!
Have a laugh!! While I hold these films in the highest regard, it's a better experience if you're enjoying yourself. Especially for that length of time! There are plenty opportunities to make some jokes, which brings me to...
4. Bring a hobbit!
This works best if you have a short friend who has a sense of humor. I have my good friend, partner in comedy and general punching bag Eddy for this task. Any time a joke is made about hobbits or dwarves having a lack of height, someone makes one about him.
I'm not sure why he lives with me....
Now sush internet! I'm watching a glorious trilogy that wasn't contradicted by it's prequels (so far)...
But that's for next time
Please don't misunderstand, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with them. They are just more of a good thing, I would've been perfectly happy if the series was released as six films. What I'm saying is that if you've got enough time to sit down and watch all of them all together, you need to evaluate what you're doing with your life.
If you have enough time, I'm not judging you by any means. I'm working my way through them now, debating a run through of third age to follow up.....
Now, here's my list of how to do it properly.
1. Build a fellowship!
Everything is better with good friends. Everything. If you disagree, you need better friends.
2. The two days!
I don't particularly recommend pulling an all nighter if you need or even want to do anything the next day. I've had my fair share of working with a hangover and no sleep and I've had enough of that over my teens, no more. This is why days off exist.
3. The Return of the Pun!
Have a laugh!! While I hold these films in the highest regard, it's a better experience if you're enjoying yourself. Especially for that length of time! There are plenty opportunities to make some jokes, which brings me to...
4. Bring a hobbit!
This works best if you have a short friend who has a sense of humor. I have my good friend, partner in comedy and general punching bag Eddy for this task. Any time a joke is made about hobbits or dwarves having a lack of height, someone makes one about him.
I'm not sure why he lives with me....
Now sush internet! I'm watching a glorious trilogy that wasn't contradicted by it's prequels (so far)...
But that's for next time
Saturday 12 January 2013
The Joys of Terror
I will openly admit right now, to the vast audience of the internet, there is nothing in this world I find funnier than scaring my flatmate.
Keep your Sitcoms or Rom-coms or even Zom-Rom-Coms, the hilarity brought on by his terrified exclamations is greater than I can describe. Therefore if you know him, scare him!
On a slightly less cruel note, Pokémon X & Y
Announced several days ago, the trailer has caused no small deal of madness amongst Nintendo's sizable fanbase. With speculation causing hope, conflict and yet more speculation.
Personally, I'd like to stick to the one thing we all know:
There's no going back this time.
Sure, we all thought this before. With the release of Colosseum in late 2003 critics and fans alike were heralding this as "The new dawn of Pokémon!" "The new direction for the series!" "The end of the top-down adventure games!"
Hindsight's a bitch isn't it?
But this time there's more of a solid foundation beneath the expansion into 3D. For starters, they're keeping the winning formula. In my opinion, the reason the GameCube versions never got the same recognition as the classics was that they changed too much at once. No gyms, no wild pokémon, no catching except "shadow" pokémon.... It was too much all at once.
Then there was the issue with the new map, rather than exploring and training on your way from town to town, you just hop in your bike and you're there. Personally I found this the biggest letdown. The areas themselves weren't that bad, just far more barren than anything seen before.
On the topic of shadow pokémon.... just no.
But this new journey into a 3D world of Pokémon has one major advantage. It's a new generation.
This isn't some side point that could be quite happily ignored without missing much (worth mentioning that Colosseum held the record for highest selling rpg on GameCube, so it's not all bad)
This is where the series is going now. This isn't a tangent they can drop to go back to the original line of games. They've evolved the series, you can't undo that.
This isn't F**king digimon
Keep your Sitcoms or Rom-coms or even Zom-Rom-Coms, the hilarity brought on by his terrified exclamations is greater than I can describe. Therefore if you know him, scare him!
On a slightly less cruel note, Pokémon X & Y
Announced several days ago, the trailer has caused no small deal of madness amongst Nintendo's sizable fanbase. With speculation causing hope, conflict and yet more speculation.
Personally, I'd like to stick to the one thing we all know:
There's no going back this time.
Sure, we all thought this before. With the release of Colosseum in late 2003 critics and fans alike were heralding this as "The new dawn of Pokémon!" "The new direction for the series!" "The end of the top-down adventure games!"
Hindsight's a bitch isn't it?
But this time there's more of a solid foundation beneath the expansion into 3D. For starters, they're keeping the winning formula. In my opinion, the reason the GameCube versions never got the same recognition as the classics was that they changed too much at once. No gyms, no wild pokémon, no catching except "shadow" pokémon.... It was too much all at once.
Then there was the issue with the new map, rather than exploring and training on your way from town to town, you just hop in your bike and you're there. Personally I found this the biggest letdown. The areas themselves weren't that bad, just far more barren than anything seen before.
On the topic of shadow pokémon.... just no.
But this new journey into a 3D world of Pokémon has one major advantage. It's a new generation.
This isn't some side point that could be quite happily ignored without missing much (worth mentioning that Colosseum held the record for highest selling rpg on GameCube, so it's not all bad)
This is where the series is going now. This isn't a tangent they can drop to go back to the original line of games. They've evolved the series, you can't undo that.
This isn't F**king digimon
Tuesday 8 January 2013
2013 Already? Time for a blog post!
Hello there!
On the off chance you're reading this and don't actually know me, the previously mentioned head shave went fantastically!
It was brilliant to see so many people being so supportive, going beyond close friends and family which surprised me to no end!
As well as going towards cancer research, money raised went to Scottish Exotic Animal Rescue (SEAR) and all their awesome lizards etc
You can check out their site here!
Afterwards I experienced life as a bald man. it was an interesting feeling, not having anything catching the wind or getting waterlogged in the rain...
also have never been mistaken for my father more in my entire life!
While hairless I felt a spiritual connection with some of my bald heroes. Dara O'Briain, Ryan Sohmer, Ming the Merciless....
All the greats.
Since then I've moved to glasgow!
Now living with my own monkey butler called Eddy, however he insists he's just a dwarf.
Can't trust those damn monkeys....
Glasgow has offered a wealth of new experiences, Including being on the radio!
I co-host a special interest talk show on thursday nights called the Nerd Herd! We discuss a wide range of topics from games and their impact on modern life to highlander and it's appalling Scottish accents!
If you feel so inclined you can listen to us every Thursday night at 9pm GMT here!
Two hyperlinks in one post. I'm on a roll!
I'm gonna leave it there for now, maybe get a game review on here by the end of the week!
well I can dream.....
as always, thanks for reading!
On the off chance you're reading this and don't actually know me, the previously mentioned head shave went fantastically!
It was brilliant to see so many people being so supportive, going beyond close friends and family which surprised me to no end!
As well as going towards cancer research, money raised went to Scottish Exotic Animal Rescue (SEAR) and all their awesome lizards etc
You can check out their site here!
Afterwards I experienced life as a bald man. it was an interesting feeling, not having anything catching the wind or getting waterlogged in the rain...
also have never been mistaken for my father more in my entire life!
While hairless I felt a spiritual connection with some of my bald heroes. Dara O'Briain, Ryan Sohmer, Ming the Merciless....
All the greats.
Since then I've moved to glasgow!
Now living with my own monkey butler called Eddy, however he insists he's just a dwarf.
Can't trust those damn monkeys....
Glasgow has offered a wealth of new experiences, Including being on the radio!
I co-host a special interest talk show on thursday nights called the Nerd Herd! We discuss a wide range of topics from games and their impact on modern life to highlander and it's appalling Scottish accents!
If you feel so inclined you can listen to us every Thursday night at 9pm GMT here!
Two hyperlinks in one post. I'm on a roll!
I'm gonna leave it there for now, maybe get a game review on here by the end of the week!
well I can dream.....
as always, thanks for reading!
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